BLOCKED
-SCENE ONE-
FADE IN:
INT. HOME-OFFICE OF ADAM LANG – LATE AFTERNOON
Camera begins on a close-up of the dust jacket of an open
book over-turned on a disheveled desk, first the front cover
with the title and author:
THE PINE CONE CONUNDRUM
ADAM LANG
...then panning left to the back cover with quotes from
flattering reviews:
“Sparkles with inexhaustible wit and inventiveness.”
-Shirley Abrams, New England Reader
“Lang's creative well runs deep and wet.”
-San Fransisco Times
“Truly marvelous... The only question now is how Lang could
possibly ever follow such a first-rate success.”
-Boston Book Review
Desk is in a dark office with only a single desk lamp
lighting area. Pan continues unstopped revealing but not
dwelling over other items on the desk, framed picture of
embracing couple on vacation, dictionary with iPhone propped
up on its side against it, stacks of magazines, including
The Economist and Maxim, and books, by Hemingway, Tolstoy,
Flaubert, Wolfe; a row of a dozen novels by ADAM LANG
displayed on bookshelf just behind desk, a box of tissues,
an empty coffee mug and coffee stain rings on yellow legal
pad with a few sentences of scratched out writing on it,
lots of crumpled yellow sheets and some crumpled tissues,
pair of crossed legs in sweat pants resting on corner of
desk, finally ending on glowing Apple logo on scratched and
dented (i.e. well-used) back of open laptop sitting on lap.
CUT TO:
Shot of laptop screen with empty word processor window and
feet in socks in the background behind screen.
CUT TO:
Extreme close-up of blinking cursor in midst of whiteness.
CUT TO:
Extreme close-up of ADAM's eyes blinking with same frequency
as blinking cursor.
CUT TO:
Shot of screen and socks but goes to blackness, and back,
as if seen through the blinking eyes of ADAM.
CUT TO:
Extreme close-up of ADAM's eyes still blinking in time with
cursor.
CUT TO:
Extreme close-up of cursor again intermittently going to
blackness such that 'blinking' cursor never actually appears;
it is flashing on when eyes are closed and disappears when
eyes are open, and then slowly phases into always appearing;
it is flashing on when eyes are open and disappears when eyes
are closed.
CUT TO:
Extreme close-up of ADAM's blinking eyes again, in his bored
little game.
SOUND OF IPHONE RINGING
Still in extreme close-up ADAM's eyes spring and stay open
staring ahead momentarily then look hard peripherally toward
the phone with no motion of head or face.
CUT TO:
Close-up of iPhone with HAL's name flashing.
CUT TO:
Wider shot of dark home-office including bookcases full of
books and various knick-knacks, desk and lamp, scruffy-
looking, 30-something ADAM in repose in high-backed office
chair, laptop on lap. There is a couch that looks as if it
has been slept on recently and often. The window blinds are
all drawn but it is obviously bright and sunny beyond them.
ADAM eventually reaches for phone and presses 'talk' button
but says nothing.
HAL (V.O. telephone)
(very anxious)
Adam?! Adam! Thank god you picked
up! I've been leaving messages
every twelve hours for days! Adam!
Tell me you're writing. Tell me
you're too busy writing to answer.
Adam? Hello?!
ADAM
Relax Hal. I'm writing.
CUT TO:
INT. HAL'S OFFICE
HAL, a man in his mid-50's with white hair – what little
there is left – is ADAM's agent. He's wearing a nice suit
talking into a land-line phone at a beautiful, uncluttered
desk. His office, on a high floor of a tall city building,
is luxurious with large windows.
HAL
(slightly relieved)
Adam! Tell me the truth. The draft
deadline's only six weeks from this
Friday. Tell me the truth!
INTERCUT between ADAM, sloppily dressed, in his dark home-
office and HAL, well-clothed, in his bright office, mixed
with occasional dialog of each heard as telephone voice
overs.
ADAM
(less reserved)
Hal. I'm writing as we speak, Hal.
ADAM exaggeratedly flutters fingers on keyboard.
ADAM (CONT'D)
As we speak.
CUT TO HAL'S OFFICE.
SOUND OF FAST TYPING is heard over HAL's phone.
HAL
(now even more worried)
Oh fuck! That's what I thought!
You only fake-type that fast.
Oh fuck, Adam! Tell me you're not
blocked. Tell me you are not blocked.
You know I got you that six month
extension. I had to bend over
backward because it's been almost two
years but I got it. And the advance...
Oh god! Tell me you got some
chapters at least. Adam, I'm gonna
come up there.
ADAM (V.O. telephone)
Don't be crazy! I'm fine.
HAL
(dis-trustingly)
Give me something. Anything. Give
me a synopsis. Whadda you got so
far?
ADAM
(now worried himself)
A synopsis?
HAL
Yeah. What's it about? Love story?
Who's the protagonist?
ADAM
Protagonist?
(swallows hard)
A man who... a man, he is... a man...
(beat)
HAL
A man who is a man?! What's that?
ADAM
A man who's just getting over a
divorce...
(beat)
HAL
Okay. And?
ADAM
and... he... and he... can't seem to...
get over it.
HAL
Oh fuck! You're blocked! You're still
fucking blocked!
(talking over each other)
ADAM
Hal relax! I'm not blocked. I'm
just a little blank right now. I'll
be fine. Plenty of time.
HAL
I bend over backwards to get you six
months and now with six weeks you've
got “a man who's getting over a
divorce, but can't get over it”. Oh
fuck. Adam, I'm coming up there.
ADAM
Hal, don't be ridiculous. Jesus
Christ. Creativity. It's, it's,
it's... fickle.
HAL (V.O. telephone)
(being agreeable)
I know, I know.
ADAM
Sometimes it comes in fits and
spurts. Besides, you know me.
When I get motivated six weeks is
nothing.
HAL (V.O.)
I know, I know.
ADAM
Remember “Scent of the Albatross”?
I did that draft in... in... what?
A month? After that flu cruise you
booked me on. Jesus. Remember?
HAL
'Flu cruise'. You were burnt out.
I was trying to get you to relax a
little. Take it easy. How could I
have known there would be a ship-
wide outbreak?! And anyway, didn't
it turn out to be food poisoning?
ADAM
(ignoring him)
Every port forbade us entry or, or,
even permission to dump our ballast
water. Christ. The whole boat stank.
It was awful. Even the sea birds
stopped following us.
HAL
Alright, I get it. I get it. But,
see? You got the draft done. Right?
Right? That's the important point
here.
ADAM
In a month I got it done. A month,
Hal. Six weeks is nothing.
HAL
I know. I know. You can be fast
when you want to.
ADAM
It's not a question of want, Hal!
It's about inspiration!
HAL
(recalling)
Isn't that cruise when you met
Evelyn?
ADAM
Don't remind me. It was an omen.
Lemme tell you, never get involved
with a girl you meet while quarantined
at sea.
HAL
Oh c'mon. I always liked her. You
two stayed together, what, 8 years?
That's not bad.
ADAM
Yeah well, you'd have thought being
confined to quarters with nausea while
sharing a bathroom the size of a
refrigerator would've been good
practice for marriage. Sort of
accelerates the intimacy factor,
you know?
HAL
Speaking of intimacy, how's Jess?
ADAM
She's fine. She left me but she's
fine.
HAL
Oh fuck! Adam, I'm coming up! I'm
coming up! Don't worry about a thing.
ADAM
That's why I pay you, Hal. Ten
percent so you do all my worrying
for me and I can stare in peace at a
blank screen for days on end.
HAL
(rubbing his forehead)
Oh fuck.
-END SCENE ONE-
-SCENE TWO-
INT. BAR – BACKGROUND NOISE OF CONVERSATION AND LOUNGE PIANO
MUSIC – EVENING
In a quiet, somewhat crowded bar, ADAM sits with KAREN, an
attractive, brunette woman in her early thirties. They are
at a table against the back wall, nursing beers, in the
middle of a conversation.
ADAM
Full on the mouth?!
KAREN
Open lips.
ADAM
Oh my god.
KAREN
Max, the principal second, said he
saw tongue on the approach.
ADAM
Oh god. Isn't she like seventeen or
something?
KAREN
A prodigy! Her mom was waiting
backstage.
ADAM
(mockingly)
Maestro Molestro.
KAREN
Oh, but there's more.
ADAM
There always seems to be with this
guy.
KAREN
He starts the second half of the
concert with some mystery tempo.
I mean, it's not even the right
meter!
ADAM
(confused)
Meter?
KAREN
He's in three. We're in four.
ADAM
Ah.
KAREN
Of course everyone just follows
Andrew. No big deal, right?
ADAM
Uh'huh. The concertmaster.
KAREN
Right. But Jones, he's got this
look on his face of shear panic.
ADAM
I can imagine.
KAREN
He's just turning white. Paler and
paler, right? But he keeps waving
the stick, until finally Andrew
cuts everyone off.
ADAM
My god.
KAREN
So then Jones pretends to cut
everyone off even though we've all
stopped playing already. He closes
his score, picks it up, turns toward
the audience, drops it to the stage,
'SLAP!', right? And says, “You'll
have to come tomorrow night to hear
what it was that I was just
conducting.”
ADAM
Wow. That's actually not a bad save.
KAREN
I know. I know. Got a good laugh.
Too bad his conducting can't be
saved.
ADAM
Lemme guess. The audience loves
him because he's an accessible,
hackneyed, clowning pervert, and
the musicians hate him because he's
an aloof, perverted, clowning hack.
KAREN
Not true. Nobody thinks he's aloof.
(beat)
KAREN (CONT'D)
So are you still stuck?
ADAM
Nothing.
KAREN
It's been, what, two months?
ADAM
No. Not that long.
KAREN
Yes, that long. Since Jess.
ADAM doesn't speak but just stares at his beer.
KAREN (CONT'D)
C'mon Adam. You said yourself it
wasn't going anywhere.
ADAM
So what's the difference? I liked
where it was. I didn't want it to
go anywhere. Why does it always
have to go somewhere? A relationship
isn't a road trip.
KAREN
If you both think it's in a nice
place, sure. But...
ADAM
The irony is, whenever a woman says
she wants her relationship to go
somewhere what she really means is
she wants to settle down.
KAREN
That's not true. It just means she
wants something deeper. More
committed.
ADAM
But ultimately settle down.
KAREN
Well is that what Jess wanted?
ADAM
No. Jess wanted a lawyer from
Providence named Todd. But that's
another story.
KAREN
Sorry.
ADAM
And you should be. I count on you
for advice about the female kind.
Why else would I be 'just friends'
with such a hottie?
KAREN
Look. You hadn't written in over a
year since Evelyn left. All you did
was mope around like a zombie. I
figured you needed someone to get
you back in the game. She was good
for that, right?
ADAM
She was no Ev.
KAREN
Of course not. She wasn't supposed
to be. She got you back in the game,
that's all.
(beat)
KAREN (CONT'D)
Not to enable, but have you heard
from her at all?
ADAM
Yeah, I told you. Providence.
Lawyer. Todd.
KAREN
No. I meant Ev.
ADAM
(slumps)
She was engaged. That's the last I
heard. About a year ago.
(beat)
KAREN
Well Jess played her part. Transi-
tional. I think you need to move
on to something more substantial.
ADAM
I don't have time for that now. I
got this draft deadline coming up
fast.
KAREN
Sounds to me like you've got plenty
of time. You're not going to break
your block staring at a blank screen.
You know that. I really think you
need a distraction.
ADAM
And where, pray tell, am I to find
this distraction?
KAREN
Women are all around you, Adam. You
just need to take some initiative.
ADAM
Initiative?
KAREN
Uh'huh. Go right up there and
initiate.
ADAM
You know I'm no good at that. I
need to get a smile, a look or
something.
KAREN
You're getting too old. You can't
be waiting around for a look.
ADAM
Boy, you really know how to build a
guy up.
KAREN
I'm serious. C'mon. You're a
writer. Can't you come up with a
line or two?
ADAM
I got lines. Don't worry about me.
KAREN
Good. Let's hear some.
ADAM
Hear some?
KAREN
Yeah. I'll critique.
ADAM
Oh, I don't... I like to feel
spontaneous.
KAREN
I'm not talking about rehearsing.
Just let me hear one. Give me your
best one. C'mon. I'm sure it's
really good.
ADAM
Eh...
KAREN
C'mon!
ADAM
Alright.
(thinks for a moment)
Alright. This one's great. It's
casual yet gets them feeling a
little sympathetic towards you right
off.
KAREN
(interested)
Sympathy, huh? Okay. Lay it on me.
ADAM
So you're sitting at the bar and I
come up to you...
ADAM takes KAREN's hand and stares into her eyes lovingly.
She returns his gaze with a touching smile.
ADAM (CONT'D)
...and say, “You know, of all the
women in this bar, you're the one
who reminds me of my dead sister
the most.”
KAREN
(silent for a beat)
How on earth did ever get married?
ADAM
(still holding her hand and gazing into
her eyes lovingly)
They said it was some bad mollusks.
-END SCENE TWO-
-SCENE THREE-
INT.ADAM's HOME-OFFICE – NEXT MORNING
ADAM's at his desk with his feet up. He's got a yellow
legal pad on his lap with lots of scribbled out lines on it.
He writes something. Then erases something with a grey,
maliable art erasure. Then scribbles several lines out
comletely and puts his head back on the chair in despair and
stares at the ceiling. After a moment his eyes reveal an
idea and he snaps his head upright again staring ahead in
thought. He grabs a pencil, looks at the dull tip then
sticks it in the automatic sharpener. But instead of
writing with it he leans his head back, stares at the
ceiling again and flings the pencil upwards. Immediately he
covers his head with his arms as the pencil falls back onto
the desk. He sharpens several more and resumes flinging and
cowering.
CUT TO:
EXT. LEXUS ON CRODWED HIGHWAY – LOUD TRAFFIC NOISE/CAR HORN
CUT TO:
INT. LEXUS – QUIETER TRAFFIC NOISE
HAL's driving on the highway talking on his cell phone. We
only hear his end of the conversation.
HAL
Richard, I'm telling you, he's
working on it as we speak. He's
working feverishly as we speak...
No! He's not sick! It's an
expression! He's working very
hard...
Richa--
Richard, you'll--
Yes! You'll have the draft--
Yes. On time.
Chapters? Well, I, uh, I don't kn--
I know. I know.
Listen. I'm going to meet with him
soon and I'll let you--
Oh, of course he's making progress.
That's ridicul--
Yes I know it's been almost two
years.
Yes!
Yes, of course I've seen it. It's
brilliant! Brilliant. His best
work since, since, “Albatross”.
Really.
Rich--
Listen.
Richard. Listen to me. Things are
going fi--
What's that?
A synopsis?
Uh... Well, it's about a man who...
a man, he is... a man...
CUT TO:
INT. ADAM'S OFFICE
He is in same position leaning back in chair, feet on desk
which is now littered with newly sharpened pencils. But
this time he's playing with a balled-up art erasure
suspended from the ceiling by a piece of string like a
pendulum. As it swings back and forth he imitates a
magician's hands as if he's causing it to levitate and
gyrate.
INTERCUT BETWEEN HAL AND ADAM
HAL pulls in to the driveway of ADAM's house and getting out
of car.
ADAM's still playing with erasure pendulum. Now he's
throwing it in circles and catching it as it comes back
around.
HAL approaches ADAM's front door.
ADAM, still playing, is startled by SOUND OF KNOCKING ON
DOOR causing him to miss catching erasure. It hits him in
the face and he topples over backward in his chair out of
frame.
INT.ADAM'S FOYER
ADAM answers door.
ADAM
Hal!
HAL
How bad is it?!
ADAM
Will you stop being so melodramatic.
HAL
Don't give me that. I'm here to help.
Tell me. What happened with Jess?
ADAM
Oh there's nothing to tell...
ADAM moves aside inviting HAL in.
CUT TO:
INT. ADAM'S KITCHEN
In a very modern, expensive looking kitchen – all stainless
steel and black marble – that looks sparse and little used,
ADAM hands HAL a mug of coffee. Adam has just spent the
last few minutes bringing Hal up to speed on his personal
life.
HAL
I've always said, never trust a
lawyer from Providence.
ADAM
When have you ever said that?
HAL
I'm saying it now. Listen, Adam.
Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
Now you'll have no distractions from
your work.
ADAM
Karen says that's exactly what I
need.
HAL
What is?
ADAM
A distraction.
HAL
What, like model ship building?
What distraction?
ADAM
No Hal. Not a hobby.
HAL
So join a bowling league.
ADAM
A woman, Hal.
HAL
No, no, no, no. This is a blessing
in disguise. I think now that you're
unencumbered you should focus on the
draft for a while.
ADAM
Well it's not been working that well
so far--
HAL
What're you... hung up on her?
ADAM
No, no. Not that. Good riddance.
It's just--
HAL
W-w-wait a minute. Back up. So far?
Whadda you mean, 'so far'?
ADAM
Since Jess left.
HAL
Right, but... When did Jess leave?
Exactly how long has it not been
working? How long have you been
stuck?
ADAM avoids eye contact.
HAL (CONT'D)
Adam?
ADAM
(coming clean)
Hal. I haven't written anything
worth keeping for a month and a half.
HAL
Jesus Christ! A mon-- How could--
Why didn't you tell me sooner?! A
month and a half?!
ADAM
Give or take--
HAL
Why didn't you tell me?
ADAM
It's embarrasing, Hal! It's not
easy to talk about. I kept hoping
it would lift. Besides, if Richard
finds out, you know, it's a black
mark, my sales are down--
HAL
Will you let me worry about the damn
publishers?! That's what I get paid
for. Okay? But I gotta know the
truth, Adam. I gotta know the truth.
Otherwise I'm useless.
ADAM
I know, I know. I'm sorry, Hal.
Okay? I'm sorry.
HAL
Okay. Okay. Don't worry. Don't
worry. I understand. Now let's
figure out a plan.
ADAM
A plan?
HAL
Yeah. What have you tried so far?
ADAM
Tried? I don't--
HAL
Yeah. You know. Techniques. Haven't
you learned any techniques over the
years for over-coming this?
ADAM
I've tried everything, Hal. Only
thing that ever really works is
waiting.
HAL
That's no good. We've only got six
weeks. What about... Stream of
consciousness. Or character profiles.
Or working outside?! Fitzgerald. He
worked outdoors.
ADAM
Fitzgerald?! Fitzgerald was a genius
and a drunk, Hal. What're you trying
to do to me? I start emulating him
and the next thing you know I'll be
waxing verbose over the lost promise
of the liver of my youth.
Honestly, it's hardly ever been a
problem before. Nothing longer than
a few days anyway. Usually I'll go
to bed and my brain will just be
percolating all these ideas as I fall
asleep and then they get me out of bed
in the morning, excited to work on
them.
But now, at night, I lay in bed,
empty. Totally empty. No ideas
floating around my head. Nothing to
look forward to in the morning. And
then I just worry. I dwell on my
insecurities. I convince myself I
deserve to be in the state I'm in and
then I lay there consumed with self-
pity and it takes me forever to get
to sleep. So that during the day
I'm tired and lethargic and foggy
and nothing seems interesting. It's
a pathetic cycle. A pathetic,
embarrassing cycle.
HAL
It's nothing to be embarrassed about.
It happens to everyone. You're
lucky it's never happened to you
before.
ADAM
I didn't say it's never happened. I
said it's never been a problem
before.
HAL
I don't understand.
ADAM
I've been blocked, just never with a
deadline looming. I was like this
after Ev left but since I had just
finished “Jesters of Affection” it
wasn't a problem.
HAL
Uh'huh. And how long did that last?
ADAM
Well, um... a year... and a half or
there abouts.
HAL
Right. When I got you the extension.
But you said it was because of plot
difficulties.
ADAM
It was. It was because of plot
difficulties. I didn't have one.
Doesn't that qualify?
HAL
So how did you finally kick that
block?
ADAM
(recollecting)
Um. You know? Come to think of it.
Karen set me up with a few friends
of hers and it took my mind off of
everything--
HAL
The distraction she's advocating now.
ADAM
Karen always seems to know.
HAL
Well if that's worked in the past, I
guess let's do it.
ADAM
That's what I was afraid of.
HAL
Get Karen to set you up and--
ADAM
I can't.
HAL
Why not?
SPLIT SCREEN showing a silent vignette of ADAM's disaster
date on left and conversation below on right. Simultaneous
screen action in double columns below.
ADAM meeting a lovely WOMAN in
an elegant restaurant.
Everyone is smiles and laughs.
ADAM offers a bread stick to
the WOMAN who initially refuses.
He goads her until she final
accepts but after one bite
begins to choke immediately.
ADAM clumsily tries to perform
Heimlich to no avail but he is
persisitent.
After several tries a WAITRESS
attempts to cut in but Adam
brushes her off. After a couple
more failures he seeks the
waitress's advice about technique
and then continues his attempts.
Eventually the WAITRESS pulls
ADAM away and is successful on
her first try.
Adam thanks the waitress and
they begin to flirt a little
while his date, now breathing
breathing but ignored by him,
steadies herself against table
and is attended to by other
concerned restaurant patrons.
|
ADAM
Because. Those first set-
ups of hers were such
legendary dating disasters
that I became infamous. I'm
blacklisted. None of her
friends will agree to it.
HAL
Oh c'mon. That seems a
little extreme.
ADAM
I agree. I mean is it my
fault the Heimlich maneuver
is harder to perform than
it looks?
HAL
Oh my goodness.
ADAM
Granted, I probably shouldn't
have been so insistent about
getting it right and just let
the waitress take over, but
you know me. I'm a
perfectionist to a fault.
HAL
Hey, but wasn't Jess a
set-up? So they weren't all
bad.
ADAM
No-no. Jess was the
waitress.
HAL
No kidding?
ADAM
Yeah. She told me she was
impressed by my stamina.
|
END SPLIT SCREEN. EXPAND RIGHT FRAME TO FULL SCREEN.
HAL
Adam. There isn't time to waste.
You'll see Karen tonight?
ADAM
We're meeting for a drink later.
HAL
Good. Do whatever she says. And
keep me in the loop too.
ADAM
You wanna come along? She likes you,
Hal.
HAL
No. I've gotta get back. We'll
meet up in a few days. I'll be in
touch.
ADAM
And I'll stay focused on becoming
distracted.
-END SCENE THREE-
...