Notebook

People have a phobia of endings.  End of life.  Ends of relationships.  Ends of bread loaves.  Ends of vegetables.  Rear ends.  
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Heavens to Betsy.  Who's Betsy?
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“It is a grave mistake to refuse our gracious hospitality.”
“If you refuse our gracious hospitality we'll kill you.”
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Pears don't hold up as well as apples when you get down to the core.  (This should be explored.)
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Dead wild flowers as metaphor for failed young relationship.  Fresh the night before.  Shriveled and pitiful the next morning. 
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Cliché metaphor as metaphor for failed relationship.  Fresh the night before.  Pathetic and laughable the next morning.
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A: You know I have this problem.  I think women are all superior to men on every level.  Emotionally.  Morally.  Maybe not intellectually.  I guess they're just as fallible as men intellectually.  But every other way I think they're superior to men.  They're in tune with some sixth sense that men just aren't sensitive to.
L: That's crazy.  We're just as messed up as men.
A: I know it's crazy.  And I know it's not true but I keep on thinking that way.
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Volunteering with a Rape Crisis Hotline to get dates.  Not with the callers.  With fellow volunteers.
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Yoga instructor mafioso.
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Meat grinder method of eating.  Tilt head back and chew, letting gravity move food through mouth.
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Writer finds he can't writer unless it's to a woman.  Needs a muse.  But can't get a date.   So goes online and begins to write women entire novels and plays in their correspondences but refuses to meet them because fears they will ultimately end it and he'll never finish.
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Highly cultured and educated porn actor just does porn on the side.
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Retiring, sailing around the world for three years with wife and two young preteen children.
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From a conversation with a chocolate sales executive: “Carob.  Yeah I was involved in the development of that.  It's not really a very good product.”
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Picking up a bike in Dubuque:
After stopping at the curb with the motor running, in front of a random house, while I'm on the phone to get directions to the house I'm supposed to be at, a beautiful woman in a dress with a purse approaches and tries to open my locked passenger door.  She just happens to be waiting for a ride, apparently from a stranger; perhaps a blind date.  What might have been... but I had to get that bike.
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Failed sunset like failed young relationship.  Colors seem to fade twice as fast as you expected them to and suddenly you simply find yourself alone in a cold, dark field.
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So poor that can't drink red wine at proper temp in winter because of cold apartment.
So poor that shoes turn into maracas. Holes in soles let in pebbles which rattle around when you walk.
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Man's signature so illegible bank/stores/government/etc. begin to refuse it.  He finds he must practice his signature in order to fully re-enter society.
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Musical driver uses car to accompany music he is singing or listening too.  Engine rpm, A/C fan speed, speed bumps, warning grooves ...
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“Baywatch” take-off for stage managers called “Stagewatch”.  Could have real musical guests on each show, backstage shenanigans, illicit tryst in the orchestra pit, etc.  Scene: Two stage hands have sex on the piano during a concert when, to an audience gasp, it is raised up from the basement for the concerto.  Dialog: “It feels like the earth is moving! Oh! Yes! Yes!”
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Audition w/ swearing.   Maybe horn hurled at committee?
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A man googles his way through life.
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The crescent moon sliced through the leafless trees
the evening sky was the color of a peach
out here she didn't matter
the cold, wet air stung and his nose dripped